Spider Catcher
by Fire Bear1
Summary: Arthur comes home to a very strange sight...


_**This is something I thought of a couple of weeks ago and, well, here it is.  
**_

 _ **Spiders are featured in this story. Just the one. I think I'll name him Bob.**_

* * *

"I'm home!" called Arthur as he stepped through the door with his arms full of Halloween decorations. He nudged it shut with his elbow and had just dropped his keys in the decorative glass bowl when he heard Alfred's reply.

"Arthur!" he shrieked.

Startled, Arthur put his bags on the table the bowl rested on and rushed to the living room. Had he hurt himself? Pulled a bookcase down on top of himself? He threw open the door – and froze.

Alfred was perched on the top of the armchair, clinging to it for dear life. The pile of video games which had accumulated over the past weeks had been scattered over the floor. Their couch had been pushed out of place so that it was at a slight angle and facing the armchair. Otherwise, nothing else seemed out of place.

"Um," said Arthur, turning his gaze back to Alfred. "What are you doing? Did you watch a horror again?"

"No!" cried Alfred, indignant and panicked. "There-There's a... It was under the games."

"You're going to have to tell me what it is. A bomb? Mutated crisps you left for ages instead of picking up? A ghost?"

Growling, Alfred shook his head. "Don't make fun of me!"

"All right, _all right_ ," said Arthur, putting his hands up in surrender. "What is it that's got you so spooked?"

"A... A... Well, a spider."

There was a pause as they stared at each other. Finally, Arthur found it in himself to speak. "A... spider?"

"Yeah! It was huge! And it's under the couch!"

"Oh? Is that why it's out of place?"

"No, that was me trying to get away from it," Alfred admitted. "I was on the chair when I saw it go under."

"I... see." After another brief paused, Arthur ventured to add, "Are you... _scared_ of spiders?"

" _Yes_ ," Alfred replied, eyes wide and shining. "Please, you gotta get it outta here!"

Seeing Alfred's terrified form clinging to the chair, Arthur decided to leave any more questions till after the removal of the poor creature. Besides, it was rather hard to take him seriously when his tall form was crouched over the chair like that. "All right. Just... stay there."

"No intention of moving, Art."

Rolling his eyes, Arthur moved over to the couch and considered his options. There was no way to catch a spider from under the couch unless he suddenly developed rubber arms. The only other option was to move the couch – which would startle the spider and likely startle Alfred further. Making a decision, he just hoped the idiot wouldn't do something stupid.

He braced himself and began to push the couch aside, grunting. The carpet beneath was slowly revealed, inch by inch. Alfred would have been better and shifting the cumbersome piece of furniture but Arthur opted not to let his friend know that little titbit. With an initial absence of arachnids, he was beginning to suspect Alfred had pulled some sort of a prank on him so he didn't have to tidy. Then, suddenly, he spotted the spider hurrying for cover.

"There it is!" squeaked Alfred. "Get it, get it, get it!"

A glance over his shoulder had Arthur abandoning his task and darting across the room to lean on the arm of the chair. Alfred had chosen to distance himself further from the spider, placing the entirety of his weight on one side of the chair. It had begun to tip but, luckily, Arthur had just enough body mass to balance it out and plant the chair firmly on the floor.

"What are you doing?!" exclaimed Arthur. "Be more careful, you dolt!"

"Ee! Spider, spider! Get i-"

"Calm down, dammit!"

"But-!"

"Alfred!" The American paused in his panic to listen to Arthur, his eyes darting between his roommate and where the spider had been. "Listen to me. You cannot stay on this chair and move backwards. You're going to fall into the bookcase and hurt yourself. _And_ my _books_."

Silence fell for a moment. Slowly, a cocky grin spread across Alfred's face. "Aw, Artie! I didn't know you cared about me more than your books!"

Arthur glared. "I can just leave the spider where it is, you know..."

"No!" squealed Alfred, grabbing Arthur's arm. He overbalanced and ended up landing, hard, on his knees on the seat of the chair. Thankful that he was at a safer height, Arthur let the chair go and tried to tug his arm free. But Alfred was too busy grovelling to let him go. "Please don't. I'm sorry. I won't ever, ever say you care about me again."

"Why the hell did I agree to live with you?" sighed Arthur.

"'Cause it's cheaper than living on your own."

"My life would be rich without your panicking over a _tiny_ spider."

"It's huge!"

"Al, it's barely a centimetre in diameter."

"The legs are huge! And there's, like, lots of 'em!" Alfred shuddered, closing his eyes. His lips twisted in disgust and Arthur rolled his eyes at the expression.

"Okay, let me go so I can get rid of it."

This time, Alfred obeyed and Arthur went back to the couch. Instead of pushing it further away from its original place, Arthur went to the other side to push it back: he suspected that the spider would be hidden under that last corner of the couch. So, placing his hands on the back and the arm, he pushed it away, watching for any sign of it.

Catching a glimpse of its desperate break for cover, Arthur stopped and stooped, using both of his hands to trap the little creature. Luckily for Alfred, he managed to catch it first time, cupping his hands to keep the spider trapped. "Got it," he declared as he straightened.

"Out, out, out!" screeched Alfred.

Sighing, Arthur rolled his eyes and sauntered over to the window – only to realise a slight problem. "Uh... Alfred, I don't suppose you could open the window or the door, cou-?"

"NO!"

"All right, _Jesus_ ," said Arthur and wondered how he was going to do it himself with his hands full. All he had to do was flip the latch and push the frame up. Maybe he could do that quick enough that he wouldn't drop it. Glancing back at Alfred, he prayed he wouldn't: he had the feeling Alfred would freak out and be over the back of the chair.

Carefully, he placed his hands beside the latch. Then, as quick as he could, he removed a hand, gripped it and opened it. In the meantime, the scared spider began to crawl up Arthur's hand. He prayed it would end up on his coat sleeve and not underneath all his layers he had yet to remove.

" _Oh my God_!" shrieked Alfred behind him.

Arthur ignored him, gripped the window and shoved it up enough to get his hands through. As quick as he could, he used his now free hand to scoop the spider away from his sleeve and back into the palm of his hand. He juggled it as he put his hands under and, when he was free of the window, he tried to shake it off. It took a few tries to dislodge the arachnid but, eventually, he had set it on the wall beyond.

"Don't let it come back in!"

Sighing at Alfred's shrill outburst, Arthur pushed the window up further so he could lean out and shooed the small spider away. Once he was sure it was fleeing from him, he pulled himself back in and slammed the window shut. "Done."

He wasn't expecting to be tackled from behind as Alfred desperately hugged him. "Thank you," he mumbled into Arthur's hair.

Raising an eyebrow, Arthur wriggled around until he was facing his friend. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah. No."

Once again, Arthur sighed. He wrapped his arms around Alfred's shoulders and patted his back. "It's gone now. Calm down."

"I can still... feel it." Alfred shuddered and Arthur decided it was high time to get out of the embrace. Pushing him away a little, he watched Alfred back off, pouting and generally looking as though someone had stolen his ice cream. "I hate spiders," he mumbled as he collapsed on the squint couch.

"It's just a spider. I don't understand why you would react so... extremely."

Alfred stared up at him with wide eyes. " _Just_ a spider?! It's- They're- Spiders are evil incarnate!"

"What?" said Arthur, flatly.

"Dude! They have _eight_ legs. That ain't natural. Six I can deal with but eight is way too many! They don't need that many! Why do they need all of them?! And-And-! They just-! The way they _move_."

Arthur blinked. "I see. That sounds rational."

Seemingly ignoring his sarcasm, Alfred looked up at him with awe. "How can you _stand_ them?"

"I like spiders. Have you never seen a spider web covered in frost? It looks absolutely magical." Arthur stared into the distance as he remembered the times he had seen them in his long forgotten childhood garden.

"Well... yeah... they look nice an' all. But... _Urgh_." Alfred shuddered again and Arthur rolled his eyes as he sat down next to him.

"You do realise that you spent a whole five minutes waving at an octopus at that aquarium?" Arthur pointed out. "They have eight legs."

"They're not legs – those are tentacles."

"It's basically the same thing."

"Is not!"

"Is- No, I'm not doing this." Arthur sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't know you were scared of spiders."

"Mm."

"Was there anything that triggered it?"

"Not that I remember," Alfred answered, frowning in concentration.

"I thought maybe someone had put-" Arthur broke off. Saying what he was thinking would likely frighten Alfred more and he'd be fitfully sleeping in Arthur's bed tonight. "Never mind. You have really strange phobias, Alfred."

"I do not! You're scared of water!"

"Because I can't swim, nitwit. I could drown."

"I could die from a spider bite!" Alfred proclaimed, sitting straighter, proud of his reasoning.

"That rarely happens."

"Ghosts could kill me, too."

"You've watched too many horror films. And Supernatural," he added as he spotted one of the box sets on the floor beside the games. "Ah. We should tidy up and put this back." He patted the couch as he stood and turned to help Alfred up.

"If there's any spiders, ya needta get rid of 'em," Alfred told him as he stood. "You're my personal Spider Catcher from now on!" He grinned at his companion.

Arthur rolled his eyes but began to scoop all the games into a tidier pile. He would let Alfred sort it out later. While he did that, Alfred pushed the couch (effortlessly) back into place. When they had finished, Arthur stood and dusted off his hands. "Come on," he said to Alfred. "The shopping needs to be put away. And I need to take off my coat and shoes," he added as he suddenly remembered he was still wearing them.

"Right."

Arthur followed the energetic student out of the room and made a mental note to return the spider decorations he had bought for Halloween...

* * *

 _ **This is actually basically me and my sister's reactions to spiders. My sister being Alfred in this case. I figured with Al's reactions to horror moves he'd act a little more extremely than my sister - but it's barely an increase since she actually did run onto the couch the last time...  
**_

 _ **I was totally going to have Arthur trying to convince Alfred that they're amazing with awesome little facts but the awesome little facts might have actually scared him more so... (And it didn't fit into the conversation, either.)**_


End file.
